Baby Moby

Emmy and I are learning new things each day about Baby Moby. I was skeptical, but Emmy has convinced me Baby Moby is trying to take over the world and that Emmy’s body is its host. As Emmy says, “Each day the baby goes stronger, while I grow weaker.” Baby Moby has established a puppet regime through Emmy in a matter of 4 short months. Moby can get Mommy and Daddy to do anything it wants. Moby had us go to a super expensive baby store the other day and made us feel poor. Moby has made me buy so many things that we don’t normally buy- gushers, fruit roll-ups, Capri suns, cheetos, lots of juices, etc. Moby made Daddy buy TONS of tuna, only to reject it a few days later. Moby has requested that we replace our AC/furnace because it wants to live like a king when it comes out and always have the temperature in the house be at a comfortable 70-72…even at night, and even in the winter!!! Moby also thinks it’s funny for Daddy to cook dinner more often and do the majority of the cleaning, while making Mommy sick all the time. Moby doesn’t like Mommy or Daddy hanging out with friends or being social. Moby does not like work or Church at 8:30 in the morning! We’re not sure why Moby has altered mine and Emmy’s lifestyle so much, but we fear the worst…Moby is trying to take over the world! The plan is to first take over me and Emmy; who knows who Moby will take over next…it could be you! We’ve decided to not fight with Moby, but to give in and offer all these things to it, to try to appease it. It, I have to keep saying ‘it’, because Moby won’t even tell us if it’s a she or a he.

Right now Moby is “the cause and solution to all our problems.” Moby gives us troubles occasionally but has also made us totally dependent on it somehow so that we get super happy and excited thinking about it. Yes, it’s true, we are slaves to Baby Moby…but I have a feeling it’ll all be worth it! And if Moby does take over the world someday, like we think is its plan, at least we know Moby’s weakness…gushers.