I have a lot on my mind and even though I don't think I'll be able to really express my thoughts and feelings, but it does help to blog them.

I love fall, we've been on a few drives to enjoy the foliage- the Nebo and Alpine Loops. Man the colors are amazing, and the pictures don't do it any justice. I've been in DC the past couple of days and have really enjoyed the scenery, experience, and feel of it. There's a familiar Fall smell that resembles the same smell in CB...it must be the humidity.

I've really enjoyed DC- the architecture and the feel remind me of my mission and living in some of the big cities in Europe. It'd be really fun to have the urban/metropolitan experience. My co-worker and I walked a few miles trying to find a restaurant and there's just something to taking an evening stroll in the city, enjoying the atmosphere, and thinking about what it's like to live here.

Jimmer made me real happy tonight. I called Emmy and heard Jimmer being fussy in the background. Emmy put the phone up to him and he stopped crying and made his funny little noises when he's excited. Me and Emmy talked a little more and then Jimmer was again fussy, she put the phone up to his ear and again the same thing, he got really excited. Man I love Jimmer and Emmy. I never could have imagined how much I could just love Jimmer and Emmy so much. That probably comes out weird, but man I just love them so much. I know Emmy loves me, and now it's special to know that Jimmer loves me too.

I've been really disturbed by some of the international political events recently. For one, I'm glad we're getting out of Iraq because I don't honestly think things will ever fully improve to where we could feel totally comfortable about leaving, but it's just frustrating because this feels like it's a political move only by Obama and that I think things could really get bad in Iraq with Iran next door. The Gaddafi killing has really disturbed me and I'm not quite sure what my opinion or feelings about it are. I mean he was a bad dude who did bad things. He killed a lot of his own people and deserved punishment, but how he died is really uneasy with me how he was captured and paraded around and then executed in front of the masses. It's just interesting and disturbing to me how a brutal dictator of 42 years is one day ruling the country and later is at the mercy of the people. Man, I think I'm probably not clear at all, because I don't even know what I'm really thinking. Maybe it comes down to just pitying him. I mean, he was a bad person, he did bad things to his people. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. Here he was pulled and beaten out of his hiding place, bloodied and shoved out of the truck...begging for mercy from the people he never showed mercy to. And then he was shot in the head and his body is still being paraded as a trophy. It's very disturbing to me, and I feel really really bad for him. Watching the footage on the news channels is disturbing, but also fascinated me because in that footage Gaddafi is not a leader/dictator of a country, but a person. Just a regular person, a child of God, someone as reliant on the mercies of the Savior as I am. He controlled billions of dollars, an entire country, navies, armies, but this did nothing for him in the end. He's just a regular person- nothingness. The whole thing also reminds me of the scripture about Korihor and about how in the end Satan abandoned him, like Satan does with all those who choose to follow him. It's just amazing to me, and I realize my thoughts are confusing and I'm probably feeling/thinking too much of this situation, but I pity Gaddafi. I pity him for going back, unprepared, to his maker, having to be fully accountable for everything he did. The whole thing is disturbing and creeps me out, but ultimately I'm just sad for him and his soul.